Marriage counseling is something people are quick to recommend when you have marital problems. Of course, they do this with good intentions.

Friends and family who make those recommendations are convinced that speaking with a marriage counselor will somehow help you resolve your marital problems.

But marriage counseling can be expensive.

Some marriage counselors charge as much as $150 per hour for consultation. That can be pretty expensive if you live in an economically challenged country.

Besides, is it really worth the cost? Isn't marriage counseling overrated?

It depends on the way you look at it.

First, you must remember that a relationship expert is not perfect. Since he's not perfect, his advice will not also be perfect. This means that you run the risk of talking to an 'expert' with a poor sense of judgment.

What do you expect if the expert's sense of judgment is poor?

Bad advice. Bad strategy. Failure.

Here's the complete picture.

The relationship expert you choose to speak with may be smart, intelligent, and experienced. In this case, you're likely to get the best advice possible

Or . . .

The marriage counselor may be half-baked, dull, and unintelligent. In this case, expect to get the wrong advice or advice that is totally worthless.

Second, a relationship expert you consult with for marriage counseling may be dubious. A dubious marriage counselor can turn into a blackmailer.

When you go for marriage counseling, it is customary to provide as much information as possible. Don't expect sound advice if the person providing the advice has little knowledge of what your challenges are.

This means that you must of necessity talk openly with the relationship expert you have chosen to speak with.

There's nothing wrong with this.

However, things can turn sour if the relationship expert with whom you have discussed your marital problems turns out to be a riffraff. He can easily begin to blackmail you with the information you supplied him.

Third, discussing your relationship problems with a relationship expert will not make your problems disappear. For many, marital problems persist long after the couple have gone for marriage counseling.

This brings us back to the question.

Is marriage counseling worth the cost?

The answer is . . . yes.

Of course, marriage counseling has its flaws. But talking to a marriage counselor helps.

However, you must speak to a relationship expert with a clear objective in mind.

You must understand that the marriage counselor will assist you to solve your marital problems. The marriage counselor will not solve your marital problems for you.

What does that mean?

This means that the relationship expert provides you with options and helps you see things in a new light. He expands your horizon and comes with a fresh perspective.

Who solves the problems?

You.

You must deal with your problems yourself. Your problem is your responsibility and you cannot run away from it.

For example, should you marry Philip or Kelvin? Who should decide that? You.

Another example.

Should you get a divorce or stay and work things out with your partner?

Who should decide that? You.

How does marriage counseling help you then?

You lay out the problems. You lay out the circumstances. You list your limitations. You list your strengths.

The marriage counselor will analyze the problems or issues on the basis of what is known to work in real life. He may provide you with additional resources or supply supporting data. He will lay out the choices for you.

Family problems can cause untold suffering and symptoms. They can also be very complex so the sooner treatment is started, the better; and while these conflicts often do cause people to seek psychological or marriage counseling, they usually procrastinate, making improvement more difficult. A couple can experience problems because of a medical or psychological problem in either person, or in one of their children. Parent-child problems can also create turmoil. Communication and discipline problems are very common and battles between siblings and the parents seem to make the problems even worse. Divorce and the creation of stepfamilies can create difficulties, sometimes, for all members of the family. Sometimes the couple itself is the problem because of poor communication, continuous conflict, alienation, sexual problems, or in-law problems.

Problems like these often lead to adjustment issues in family members. Since the family relationships are a part of the problem, it may be necessary to change their very structure. A family therapist may provide marriage counseling or family therapy to address these issues or help parents improve their parenting skills.

Sometimes multiple problems exist such as, depression in one family member, plus conflict in the marriage itself. Several treatment approaches may be necessary in these circumstances. Only infrequently, will a psychologist provide individual psychotherapy to one member of the family, and simultaneously treat the whole family or the couple. However, one exception is that often family treatment for child behavior problems will include individual sessions with the parents. However, these sessions are designed to help with parenting skills only. While it is possible to provide individual psychotherapy to two family members, psychologists have to evaluate its possible effectiveness on a per case basis.

Psychologists doing family therapy or marriage counseling often have received specialized training in family systems theory and in family and marriage therapy skills. When you contact a psychologist for family or marriage counseling, do not hesitate to ask about his/her family therapy training.

Counseling Schools prepare professionals to help future patients cope with personal stress due to mental disorders, anxiety, depression, substance abuse, and other causes. Counseling students are taught to apply psychology and other mental health principles to help their patients achieve mental and emotional stability.

Counseling Schools teach students to work with individuals, families, married couples, groups, and organizations. Professional counselors must be prepared to face many disturbing topics, such as sexual abuse, eating disorders, aging issues, suicidal tendencies, domestic violence, grief issues, and others.

Most states require counselors to have a graduate degree in their specialized field. Many undergraduate degrees provide a good educational base for the counseling student, such as a Bachelor of Arts (B.A.) or a Bachelor of Science (B.S.) degree in Counseling, Psychology, Education, Sociology, or Social Work. Graduate students may further their education to achieve a Master of Arts (M.A.), Master of Science (M.S.), or Master of Education (M.Ed.) in their chosen discipline.

The doctorate (Ph.D. or Psy.D.) is the most prestigious counseling degree, and requires 2-4 additional years of specialized study. A doctoral degree in counseling permits the professional to be called "Dr."

It would appear that at some point after World War I, real mental health became something of a luxury. The absence of any real mental disease like schizophrenia or dementia certainly is not an indicator of complete mental health any longer. The boom in knowledge of human psychology that began in the 1960s has made that eminently clear.

Truthfully speaking, even basic functionality can no longer be automatically assumed for a human being living in the present age. There are an unprecedented number of Americans and Europeans undertaking psychotherapy today – what started off as a fad now seems to have become a necessity of daily living. The pressures of the rat race are overwhelming. The number of situations and triggers for mental disorders has multiplied significantly. The stress levels are extremely high.

We are, therefore, reduced to defining acceptable mental health in very broad terms. A certain degree of aberration is to be expected in almost every post-modern human being. Reasonable mental health will, therefore, have to be defined by the lack of gross disorders. A good standard for judging this would be the one apparently employed by health insurance companies, who are reluctant to pay for mental disorders that do not result in complete breakdown of normal life for the individual.

The diseases that indicate a major disruption in mental health would today include Bipolar Disorder, Schizophrenia, or a major depressive disorder. Further mental disorders that may or may not be considered as mere a lack of fine tuning by authorities may include obsessive-compulsive disorders, alcohol or drug addiction, or stress-induced nervous breakdown.

Mental health in the twenty-first century means a reasonable quality of life and functionality in individuals, despite the overwhelming odds against them.

It is an established fact that almost two-thirds of all people afflicted with some kind of mental dysfunction do not seek treatment. This is confirmed by the WHO’s Global Burden of Disease study.

The reasons for that people do not seek treatment vary, but some of the most common ones are a fear of the social stigma attached to mental disease; a fear of compromised security (loss of job, spouse, benefits entitlement, etc.); an inability to pay for treatment; or lack of awareness of the problem.

Thankfully, many forms of mental disease are no longer looked down upon; nor are those who suffer from them necessarily ostracized in society or at the workplace. Many progressive companies now offer more time to their employees for recovery from mental illness, and there is a decided increase in general social awareness prevalent today.

Considering its increased prevalence today, it is understandable that mental health has become a lucrative money-spinner. Psychiatrists and psychologists are amongst the highest-paid professionals in the modern world. This being so, there is a lot to be said for self-help groups like Schizophrenics Anonymous, Alcoholics Anonymous, and Narcotics Anonymous. These offer an amazingly effective therapeutic support systems for sufferers, free of cost.

There are various organizations that monitor and streamline mental health efforts on a national scale today. Among them are the Center for Mental Health Services (CMHS), the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA), and the Federal Action Agenda for Mental Health. These organizations exist to ensure fair and helpful practices among mental health professionals and to upgrade the standards of mental health services as and when necessary.

Basically, professional mental health services offer treatment for either the whole gamut of mental disorders, or they specialize in them individually. The onus of treatment in present times is on the most prevalent: anxiety disorders such as obsessive-compulsive and post-traumatic-stress disorders; bipolar and manic-depressive disorders; schizophrenia; behavioral disorders, such a eating disorders; and ADHD/ADD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorders).