Marriage counseling is something people are quick to recommend when you have marital problems. Of course, they do this with good intentions.

Friends and family who make those recommendations are convinced that speaking with a marriage counselor will somehow help you resolve your marital problems.

But marriage counseling can be expensive.

Some marriage counselors charge as much as $150 per hour for consultation. That can be pretty expensive if you live in an economically challenged country.

Besides, is it really worth the cost? Isn't marriage counseling overrated?

It depends on the way you look at it.

First, you must remember that a relationship expert is not perfect. Since he's not perfect, his advice will not also be perfect. This means that you run the risk of talking to an 'expert' with a poor sense of judgment.

What do you expect if the expert's sense of judgment is poor?

Bad advice. Bad strategy. Failure.

Here's the complete picture.

The relationship expert you choose to speak with may be smart, intelligent, and experienced. In this case, you're likely to get the best advice possible

Or . . .

The marriage counselor may be half-baked, dull, and unintelligent. In this case, expect to get the wrong advice or advice that is totally worthless.

Second, a relationship expert you consult with for marriage counseling may be dubious. A dubious marriage counselor can turn into a blackmailer.

When you go for marriage counseling, it is customary to provide as much information as possible. Don't expect sound advice if the person providing the advice has little knowledge of what your challenges are.

This means that you must of necessity talk openly with the relationship expert you have chosen to speak with.

There's nothing wrong with this.

However, things can turn sour if the relationship expert with whom you have discussed your marital problems turns out to be a riffraff. He can easily begin to blackmail you with the information you supplied him.

Third, discussing your relationship problems with a relationship expert will not make your problems disappear. For many, marital problems persist long after the couple have gone for marriage counseling.

This brings us back to the question.

Is marriage counseling worth the cost?

The answer is . . . yes.

Of course, marriage counseling has its flaws. But talking to a marriage counselor helps.

However, you must speak to a relationship expert with a clear objective in mind.

You must understand that the marriage counselor will assist you to solve your marital problems. The marriage counselor will not solve your marital problems for you.

What does that mean?

This means that the relationship expert provides you with options and helps you see things in a new light. He expands your horizon and comes with a fresh perspective.

Who solves the problems?

You.

You must deal with your problems yourself. Your problem is your responsibility and you cannot run away from it.

For example, should you marry Philip or Kelvin? Who should decide that? You.

Another example.

Should you get a divorce or stay and work things out with your partner?

Who should decide that? You.

How does marriage counseling help you then?

You lay out the problems. You lay out the circumstances. You list your limitations. You list your strengths.

The marriage counselor will analyze the problems or issues on the basis of what is known to work in real life. He may provide you with additional resources or supply supporting data. He will lay out the choices for you.